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PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Babylon Bee

To Save Time, Iran Appoints Supreme Leader Who Is Already Dead

TEHRAN — Following the death of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and a significant portion of the nation's leadership, the Assembly of Experts, charged with choosing the next Ayatollah, have opted to appoint a new supreme leader who is already dead. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Babylon Bee

Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK

U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war -- OHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST FRIGGIN' TORPEDOED A BOAT WE ARE SO BACK!!! [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Babylon Bee

Sad: Iran's ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up

TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran's "Assembly of Experts" forgot to include an expert in not dying in a massive fireball. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Babylon Bee

White House: Spain Has Agreed to Cooperate With US Military

WASHINGTON, March 4 (Reuters)—Spain has agreed to cooperate with the U.S. military, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said on Wednesday, a day after President Donald Trump threatened to cut trade with Madrid over its stance against the U.S.-Israeli strikes on Iran. “I think they heard the president’s message yesterday loud [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Daily Signal

Texas Primaries Rock Both Parties

Texans voted in dozens of critical primaries on Tuesday, leading to bitter defeat for some national political figures and strong results for multiple state level politicians seeking higher office. Here’s how one night transformed the Texas political scene. Cornyn Survives GOP Senate Primary Tuesday’s Senate primary results solidified the Republican Senate primary around [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Daily Signal

Minneapolis Autism Center CEO Pleads Guilty to Fraud, Says He Never Met a Person With the Condition

The Minneapolis CEO of a center to serve patients with Autism Spectrum Disorder reportedly confessed that he did not know a single person with autism while pleading guilty to federal fraud charges Monday. The Justice Department charged Abdinajib Hassan Yussuf, 27, with wire fraud in December for his role as president [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Daily Signal

DOJ Still Reviewing Epstein Files for Potential Release

The Justice Department is reviewing tens of thousands of documents connected to the Jeffrey Epstein case before posting them, according to a report by The Wall Street Journal. A department spokeswoman said 47,635 files... [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Newsmax

FAA Closures Spur Briefing on Texas Drone Incidents

U.S. officials were set to give key senators a classified briefing on Wednesday after two incidents in Texas involving government drones that prompted the Federal Aviation Administration to close airspace to airplanes, senators told Reuters. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Newsmax

Minnesota Leaders Defend Fraud Efforts to Congress

Minnesota's governor and attorney general on Wednesday defended their attempts to combat fraud and told a U.S. House committee that their efforts have been hampered by President Donald Trump's immigration crackdown in the state. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Newsmax

Rep. Self to Newsmax: Our Troops Deserve 'Full-Throated Support'

Rep. Keith Self, R-Texas, told Newsmax following his primary win that lawmakers should focus on "full-throated support for our young men and women who are in harm's way" as the Senate prepared to vote on whether to limit President Donald Trump's ability to continue military action against Iran. [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Newsmax

Names of 4 Fallen US Soldiers Released

The Pentagon has released four of the six names of service members killed during Operation Epic Fury. “It’s with profound sadness and gratitude that I share the names of four of our six fallen heroes, all from the 103rd Sustainment Command, U.S. Army Reserve out of Des Moines, Iowa,” Joint Chiefs [...]

Wed, Mar 04, 2026
Source Daily Signal